Missing You
by prewarmadness
Summary: After Kel was knighted, she visited Joren's grave. Very O.O.C. not exactly Joren/Kel and a little fluff. Songfic. Missing You by First Lady.


Keladry of Mindelan stared at the cold concrete that held the remains of Joren of Stone Mountain. It had been two years, two years since his body was found washed up in the double doors of the Chapel of Ordeal.

Yet it felt like forever. Kel tried to stay away, to move on and forget.

Forget that she ever cared.

Forget that she ever loved.

Kel tried. She did.

Except she can't.

So now she stood feeling more empty than she ever thought. _Stupid._ she thought. _Why him? Why did I fall for him? _

_He was supposed to be my worst enemy._ Hot tears trickled from her eyes.

_**What did I do to deserve this?**_

_**I didn't even get one last kiss, from you.**_

_Stupid. Stupid Stupid. _She said it out loud though she didn't mean any.

_**Oh baby god took your love from me**_

_**He needed an angel it seems**_

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._ She thought of him an angel, she saw his emotions at his eyes. She always thought maybe he

could share his problems with her, know that he could always count on her.

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Why did I fall for him? Why did I ever thought we could be together? Why?_

_**I need to feel your hands all over me**_

_**I need to feel you kissing me**_

_**I need to feel you holding me**_

_**I need to feel your touch**_

_**Cause I miss your love so much**_

And she didn't even get the chance to say goodbye. To tell him thank you. Thank you for pushing me to the limits. Thank you for taunting me. Thank you because you were there to add weights on my lance. Thank you for trying to get rid of me. Thank you for insulting me.

_Thank you because it made me realize just how strong I could be._

_**And I can't keep on living this way**_

_**I need you here with me**_

_And you know what? I keep asking, Why did Mithros take you?_

_**Why could he take you away from me**_

Kel fell to her knees. Tears still fell from her eyes. She had tried her hardest to wipe them away and tell herself that he's

gone. It was so hard. _And I still hadn't told you._

_**It's hard for me to tell you I love you**_

_**As I'm standing over your grave.**_

_**And I know I'll never hear your voice again**_

Kel traced the name 'Joren of Stone Mountain' with a finger. It was rough with age, and a thought came. _I wonder what it_

_would feel to be your wife. Keladry of Stone Mountain._

_Keladry of Stone Mountain. I could only wish._

_But then I'm stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

_Why did I ever hoped?_

_What did I ever see in you?_

_Why can't I forget?_

_**Why did you leave me**_

_**Why couldn't you just stay**_

_**Because my world is nothin', without you**_

_**Now I don't know what to do, with myself**_

Kel thought of Joren's icy blue eyes and light blonde hair.

He was the picture of a god.

The most beautiful man she had ever seen.

_If only I told you_

_**I would've given you anything**_

_**Just to make you happy**_

_**Just to hear you say**_

_I wish you were here._

_Maybe you would hate me._

_Maybe you wouldn't._

_I wish you could tell me._

_Tell me that you love me._

_**That you love me, one last time**_

_Did you know that If I could I would follow you to the Realms of the Dead?_

_If I could I would confront the Black God myself._

_**I'd go to hell and back over and over again**_

_**Just to prove to you how much I need you here**_

Kel looked up at the sky. It was nearly sundown, and the sky was a light pink and orange. The sun was setting and it looked so magnificent.

_If only I could share it with you._

_**There's nothing that I wouldn't do**_

_**I'd cry for you**_

_**I'd lie for you**_

The land was rich all around and there was the great view of the Royal Forest.

_If only I could share it with you._

_**And there's no doubt that if I could take your place in heaven**_

_**I would die for you, yes I will**_

_**I would rather give up my life**_

_And do you know that at night I dream_

_You were there, we were happy_

_But then It would end and you would cry_

_**Than to see tears in your eyes**_

_**I can't stand to see you cry**_

_And there I could tell you everything_

_But when I wake up..._

_It feels so heavy_

_And I couldn't say it_

_**Cause it's hard for me to tell you I love you**_

_**As I'm standing over you grave**_

_**And I know I'll never hear your voice again**_

_And when I'm about to say it..._

_I feel like a coward and I couldn't say it_

_**Why did you leave me**_

_**Why couldn't you just stay babe**_

_And even if people thinks I'm a hero_

_I know I'm not_

_Because I can't say it_

_And I feel so empty_

_**Because my world id nothin', without you**_

_**Now I don't know what to do, with myself**_

The night bell rang. Time for dinner. Kel can't help but remember those times when she and her friends would patrol the halls for Joren and his cronies. When at morning Lord Wyldon would tell her to report after breakfast because of her bruises. When both of them, Kel and Joren would say the traditional lie. "I fell" and they would be given punishment work.

_**I just don't know what to do with myself**_

_**I can't stand looking at those pictures on my shelf**_

_**Knowing it was just one week ago**_

She remembered waking up having sunshine at her face. Yellow and Purple bruises didn't hurt like this.

And when they were fighting, the touch of his skin against hers made her tingle.

_And I hadn't told you_

_**I stood there and took that picture**_

Kel couldn't help but swear. Swear at the gods.

_Damn Mithros! Damn Sakuyo! Damn that blasted Chamber of Ordeal!_

More tears fell. This time she didn't try to stop them.

_**There's just one thing that I wanna know**_

_**Why would God want to hurt me so bad**_

_**Does he know how much it hurts to be missing you**_

Kel never realized how much she missed Joren until now.

She realized things would never be the same without him.

_**Baby I'm missing you**_

_**Baby I'm missing you**_

_Stupid._

_Why didn't I tell him before?_

_Stupid._

_I shoud've told him._

_Stupid._

_**Oh God damn it I love you**_

_**Why did he take you away...from me**_

_**Cause I love you so..**_

Kel took a deep breath. She was ready.

_**I miss you so much baby**_

_**I just can't go on baby**_

She stood up and looked far away. Then she looked at Joren's grave again. _Friends and Family_ was written below his name.

"I love you Joren" she said before another tear fell from her eyes. But it was a tear of apology and thanks.

She stood up and prepared to go. A light breeze came and Kel gasped. She wasn't sure if it was what she heard.

'I love you too Kel'. The wind seem to reply back.

Kel's lips curved until it was a faint smile.


End file.
